Radioactive Mama

My Cancer Journey

What’s it like? Thursday, 18 Sep 14

Filed under: Uncategorized — radioactivemama @ 10:36 am

People have asked me many times over the years what the thyroid does (something I didn’t know until they took mine!) and what it’s like not having one.  Well, the thyroid controls EVERYTHING in your body pretty much.  It’s a giant regulator.  So almost every part of your body and life are affected when it’s out of whack or not there and the artificial replacement is not regulated properly.  After the initial 6-8 months it took to get mine regulated in 2010 I have been pretty blessed that over the last 3 1/2 years its only gotten out of whack a few times.  It’s out of whack now.  So let me tell you what it’s like.  It’s like this:

You spend an 8 hour day out with your kids.  A day doing some walking, a little bit of sun, busy but not anything crazy like running 20 miles or hiking  Clingman’s Dome.  A day that at the end of it, most people would probably be kind of tired and sleep pretty good.  However, at the end of it with no thyroid and improper medication then by 8:30 you can barely keep your eyes open to get all the kids in bed and by 9:30 you fall into bed exhausted, sleep 10.5 hours and find it incredibly hard to get out of bed the next morning.  When you do finally get up all your joints hurt, you have a headache for the 4th day in a row and it takes all your energy to even get into the day.  By 10:30am you are wondering if you can nap, lol.  It’s tiring being so tired.  It’s discouraging.  And it is a vivid reminder of what I have been through.  Which also reminds me of God’s faithfulness and all He has brought us through and the ways He has provided.  So while I’m feeling some self-pity and sometimes want to cry and always want to sleep (:D) and am reminded of how much cancer sucks, even the “best kind of cancer to have,” I am also reminded that today my job is to put one foot in front of the other and trust that His grace is sufficient for TODAY.  That’s all I have to do, TODAY. Sometimes I have to say to myself, “just get the dishwasher loaded, just get that one load of clothes folded, just get through math with the girls” and sometimes, like yesterday, I am granted a reprieve from the headaches and pain and for a short little while I don’t feel exhausted and enjoy the moments immensely with my children and those moments are SO great!  Hoping and praying my (lack of) thyroid gets regulated REALLY soon and that the increased meds do their job quickly and that life can get back to some level of normal.

So that’s what it’s like 🙂   Now, when do these kids go to sleep?!  LOL