Radioactive Mama

My Cancer Journey

Goodnight Day 8 Monday, 29 Mar 10

Filed under: Uncategorized — radioactivemama @ 10:04 pm

Woo-hoo!  Over half way there!  Only 7 more days!  I can’t wait to snuggle my little girls and hug my hubby like crazy!  Hopefully I will sleep better tonight and maybe it will rain in the morning so the construction guys are deterred a couple hours 🙂  The rest of the week is supposed to bring sunshine and warm weather – always good for the spirit!  I didn’t get to write the next part in my story today (obviously.)  I am really going to try hard tomorrow.  Seriously, I am in an apartment by myself with no car… where did the day go?  I am so thankful that time is flying by!  Goodnight day 8!  you were good to me, but I am SO happy to see you go.  It means I am one day closer to being HOME!!!

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So that’s what he was doing…

Filed under: Uncategorized — radioactivemama @ 3:19 pm

but was it really necessary at 7:30am?!

Ok, so on my way to the hospital a little while ago I walked by the construction site outside my window.  This area has previously been a big muddy lot, so I thought the building was not going to extend that far.  I was wrong.  They have now started laying the cinder block frame for the foundation of what will apparently be another part of the new building.  Upon closer inspection I discovered that what I thought was a wooden box from my 2nd floor window, through very sleepy eyes, is in fact a plastic tub/trough like thing.  And apparently this is where they are stirring the cement goo that they are using to stick the blocks together.  So, my best guess is that the guy this morning was probably knocking somewhat dried good from the sides of the tub.  Ok, now this seems a little more sensible to me (only a little) but I still have to wonder… was it necessary? And if so, was it necessary at 7:30am?!  🙂

I took a walk down to the hospital, found out the gift shop doesn’t have postcard stamps (which is what I need), ate some ribs that were actually pretty tasty (which leaves me to believe they were probably really good if I could have tasted them all the way), a salad that looked like it probably tasted really good, and some ice water.  What’s the point in bothering with the needless calories of soda or tea when I can’t taste it anyway? 🙂  I also visited with my wonderful friend Angie, the radiologist tech.  She told me the clothes I wore while in the hospital (I left them there) are SUPER hot (which means very radioactive.)  They are locked away somewhere and I can get them in a couple months, lol.  The hospital room of course is really hot too, but for some reason there is one spot on the floor beside the bed that was really really hot… she said it was strange.  It was on the side of the bed where I had my hospital table, so I usually did not even get out of bed on that side.  I did sit there sometimes to eat or type, so there is a possibility it was from my feet.  It’s really kind of freaky to me! I really enjoyed chatting with Angie and was so glad for the company, however brief.  Then I wandered down to the strip and into Panera Bread.  I really thought about getting a chai tea latte, which I love, but didn’t.  There were 2 reasons for this.  The first was that I didn’t know if I would really enjoy it with my half-broken taste buds.  The second was that even if I could taste it, it wouldn’t be at maximum capacity, and it was $4!  I really was not going to pay $4 for a drink that I might or might not be able to taste, and probably would only enjoy on a mediocre level if I could even taste it.  Now I am back in the apartment with cold hands from my walk, and a newly launched headache.  I did enjoying being outside and getting some fresh air though!

When I returned I had mail waiting forme – my very first piece of mail since I have been here!  It was terribly exciting.  I hope I get more soon.  I love getting mail!  Thank you Rhiannon & Jon (and Juni of course!)

 

Day 8

Filed under: Uncategorized — radioactivemama @ 12:19 pm

Day 8, like many of her predecessors, greeted me much to early this morning.  I know these construction guys have to do their job, but it IS a rather large construction site.  Must they start right outside my window at 7:30am?  This morning whatever they were doing sounded rather odd, so I looked out the window to take a look.  What I saw still perplexes me.  There was a wooden box on the ground.  At least that is what it looked like to me.  It looked like 5 pieces of plywood nailed together (no top on it.)  There was a guy standing there with a hammer, arm hung down at his side, lackadaisically swinging at the box and there were at least two other guys standing around watching him.  I would LOVE to hear this guy explain what he was doing.  Honestly, there seemed no rhyme or reason to it.  He wasn’t bent down over it swinging like he was nailing something in.  There was no pattern to his swings.  Just a couple swings here and there, a pause and they another swing or two.  Very odd.  Eventually he quit (after about 30mins I guess) and I fell back into a restless sleep.  Amazingly I was sleeping quite well when I received that rude awakening at 7:30am.  Today I am more tired than yesterday when I only got 6 hours of sleep in 20-60 minute increments and woke up at 5am!

I am hoping to get a fan from home tomorrow to block out some of this racket!  I am off to the hospital to see about getting some stamps.  My goal today is to continue the story of how this all started, so be on the lookout. 🙂

 

Awed Sunday, 28 Mar 10

Filed under: Uncategorized — radioactivemama @ 11:07 am

I have been awake since 5am… started reading around 5:45 or so.  Long night and not much sleep. Had all these thoughts running through my head that I was going to blog about.  Then I got on face book and saw where something I put on my blog was quoted by a friend on her face book page. It was my quote from Max Lucado about being 4 times as likely to talk about God than the demands on your day… and I just realized something.  This thought has been tingling in the back of my head for some time now, but it just completely broke out and surrounded me now.

One thing that has been difficult for me as a stay-at-home Mom is that I feel like my opportunities to tell people about Jesus are so limited.  Most everyone I know is a Christian.  The ones that are not, I just don’t have that many opportunities to really tell them about how amazing my God is.

(This is the shortened version of my post.  To read the middle section, click here.)

For probably the last year (on and off) I have been praying what is usually referred to as the prayer of Jabez.  In the Bible, Jabez prayed,

“Oh Lord, bless me indeed, enlarge my territory.  Put your hand on me and keep me from evil that I would not cause harm.”  Sounds a little selfish until you read the little book written about it, which is exactly what I did. That is where I learned to pray this with the heart of a servant … to pray that God would enlarge my territory of influence to be able to share about Him, that He would bless me so that I can give back to Him and he can be glorified.  I never knew how this would be possible with my staying home, but prayed it anyway.  Then God gave my husband the vision to start our own business, and the commitment to tithe… and I started being able to tell our customers about how God was blessing our business.  Then we found a new church and I joined a woman’s small group.  Even though these women were already Christians, we had the opportunity to share how God was working in our lives and encourage one another.  Then I got pregnant and got to meet some amazing women through the birth center where I had Ember… and then… I got cancer.

Wow… Cancer.  It feels like death to even just say it.  But it’s not!  I have seen God work in my life and in the lives of those around me more in the last 6 months in such tangible and life-changing ways… more than I had in the last several years.  I have had the opportunity to tell more people about the faithfulness of my Jesus, the love of my creator, and the goodness of my God in the last 4 months than I ever would have thought possible.  I have said several times over the last 4 months when I have had these opportunities, “this almost makes the cancer worth it.”  Today I sit here in awe, filled with tearful joy as I realize that God has answered my prayer to enlarge my territory for Him and to bless me and my family for His glory.  I never, ever, ever in a million years would have asked for cancer or would have guessed that this would be His answer… but it was and is!  I can honestly say, “Thank you, Lord, for giving me cancer,” and mean it.  To see the lives that have been touched, my momentary discomfort and all that the last 4 months have brought to me and my family has been worth it.

I know that there are many who have faced and are facing far worse prognoses than thyroid cancer… debilitating health problems, sudden loss of loved ones, serious illness of a child, breakdown of marriage… Thyroid cancer seems the lesser evil in many cases.  As I have been told over and over, “it’s the best cancer you can have if you are going to have cancer.” 🙂  But I hope that somehow you are encouraged and challenged by my story and all that I have shared and will continue to share.  There is so much more to say about all that has happened in the last 4 months, and I can’t wait to tell you the rest!

 

Nicole & Mocha Saturday, 27 Mar 10

Filed under: Uncategorized — radioactivemama @ 5:31 pm

Thank you, Nicole, for coming to see me!  Thank you, Wendy, for telling her about my love for coffee drink things.  My McD’s mocha drink was amazing… and the most caffeine I have had at one time in over a year (since I was pregnant or breastfeeding for the last year.)  I may be awake all night, but it was yummy.  I could actually taste it – which was awesome!

Nicole and I had a wonderful visit and I got to tell her all about my whole journey from start until today.  I think she is the first person to hear the whole story.  She genuinely wanted to know and is an awesome listener, so it was great to share with her.  She came in and said, “ok, so start at the beginning.  I know bits and pieces but I want to hear the whole thing.” Thank you, Nicole, for allowing me to share the way God has blessed me and my family through my cancer.  I realize now there are a few awesome details of God’s hand working in crazy mysterious ways that I left out, but you can read them on my blog later if I ever get them all typed out and you want to.

We also had an awesome conversation about our church, the Summit (thesummitlive.tv)  I feel like I have a much better understanding of the vision of the church now than I did before talking with her.  I have missed so many Sundays because of everything that has been going on, so it was good to find out more about what is happening in the life of the church. It makes me sad that I will miss the first Sunday at South Doyle tomorrow, but I will be praying with you guys and there in spirit.

 

Not again…

Filed under: Uncategorized — radioactivemama @ 1:42 pm

My nausea just returned in full force and my mouth is feeling funny from sucking on all these hard candies (which is supposed to help the radiation leave faster and my sense of taste to come back!)

 

Bland

Filed under: Uncategorized — radioactivemama @ 12:48 pm

Just discovered that I am experiencing a rather bothersome side effect that I thought I had avoided: loss of taste sensation. I didn’t realize it at first because I was eating hospital food and I felt so sick. I thought the food was just bland. I started to notice it yesterday when I made a pizza that tasted a little bland and then when I ate a whoppers robins egg candy and it tasted bland. It still didn’t click though until just a few minutes ago. I was making a grilled ham and cheese and tasted the ham, something I know what it is supposed to taste like. It had almost no flavor. Then I tried the grilled cheese and some tortilla chips. All bland… Josh read that it could last as long as 4 weeks. Praying it doesn’t. I guess I won’t have to worry about eating because I like the taste. I ate about 3/4 of the sandwich and threw the rest away. Food takes on a whole new meaning when you can’t taste it. It’s a lot easier to just eat until you are full. Could be good for losing the rest of the baby weight too.